Ordination: A Calling Valid, Though Unconventional
Ordained by God—Set Apart by Grace
I’ve always wished that life, especially life in the Kingdom, came with clear instructions. But more often than not, the ways of God are beautifully unconventional, and His instructions are written deep within the heart, not printed on the surface.
My journey into ministry didn’t follow traditional lines. I knew as a child that I was called to serve God. With the eyes of a child, I envisioned myself doing what I saw my beloved pastor do—wearing the long robe, leading the congregation, and quietly saying, “Bow your heads and let us pray.” I loved the peace that would settle over the church.
As I grew, the robe and the imagery faded, but the desire for the Word of God only deepened. I longed for the day I could spend hours studying Scripture. After graduating high school, I led my first church service at just 18 years old. Shortly afterward, I was brought before the elders of the United Presbyterian Church and commissioned for the pastorate. They even arranged for me to attend a Spirit-filled college to prepare for ministry.
But I failed them.
Within a year, I had enlisted in the U.S. Army and was quickly swept into a life of distractions. Though I never forgot my call, I assumed I had missed my chance. No one had ever told me that the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable (Romans 11:29). Even when I read that verse, I couldn’t receive it for myself.
Years passed.
Then one day, God spoke again. He called me—as a watchman to the body of Christ. By this time, I had left the Presbyterian church and settled into a Baptist congregation, intentionally distancing myself from anything “charismatic” or supernatural. I was hiding—from my past, my failures, and from the kind of spiritual encounters that might reveal what I didn’t want anyone to see.
Still, I spent nights studying the Word. Though I didn’t fully understand what being a watchman meant, I embraced the call. I thought it meant defending the faith through apologetics. I imagined myself on the walls of the city, warning of danger and false teaching. I even introduced myself in church that way, though privately I mourned the pastorate I believed I’d forfeited.
I can now say: I was wrong—not about being a watchman, but about thinking the pastoral call was gone.
That call never left.
The Supernatural Turn
In 1991, the ache of living outside my call became unbearable. I was willing to do anything to get back to God’s will. I returned to college after sixteen years and poured myself into learning. I excelled—graduating summa cum laude, earning a master’s degree, and nearly entering law school. But just before enrolling, I decided to attend seminary instead. If I couldn’t be a preacher, at least I could study God’s Word more deeply.
That’s when it happened.
The Lord began to open my eyes to the supernatural—to visions, dreams, and the voice of His Spirit. My world turned upside down. The more I sought Him, the more He responded. Then, one day, He did something unforgettable: He ordained me.
The Ordination
I was sitting at my desk, studying, when the atmosphere of the room shifted. The presence of God filled the space with such weight and formality that I immediately knew something sacred was happening. Another person was in the room with me, and when I asked if she sensed it too, she said, “Yes—it feels very formal.”
In that moment, I bowed my head in reverence. Instantly, I entered a vision.
I was aware of my body at the desk, but I was also present in another room—on carpeted steps before a platform. I saw Jesus approach from my right and stand behind me. He spoke to the Father, who was seated above on the platform. Though Jesus never said, “I’m ordaining you,” I knew exactly what was happening.
This was my ordination.
There was a stillness within me—no racing thoughts, just reverence. I did glance up in the vision for a moment, but quickly looked down again in awe. Jesus laid His hands on me and spoke words I will never forget. He gave me scriptures that have since anchored my calling. And then the vision ended. The presence lifted. I was left stunned and in awe.
What That Moment Means Now
For years, I carried that moment close to my heart. When I doubted my calling, I would return to that vision and find strength. But over time—and through many battles—I began to forget. Doubt crept in, and I focused more on my present struggles than on the day I had been commissioned by the Lord Himself.
Recently, the Lord gently reminded me of that day. He reminded me that He alone ordained me, and that He will provide for every need as I follow His plan for my life.
That reminder brought a deep, refreshing confidence. Not in myself—but in Him. I may still have unanswered questions, but I now walk with a deeper certainty of His call than ever before.
